The God Who Stays

I don’t know if anyone else does this, it’s just the way my brain works, but I have to listen to music to get anything done around the house. So housework, showers, cooking etc. I usually listen to worship music but I generally just leave the player on shuffle. A track came on today that I haven’t listened to in a while but it really got my heart. It is a Matthew West track called, “The God who Stays” and this particular line says, “you’re the one who runs in my direction when the whole world walks away”. I have to admit I cried a little.

Since I was very very young it has felt like God was the only one I could turn to. I would spend a long time in my bedroom just praying and talking to him. I’m not going to delve into the reasons for me feeling that I had no-one. Many of you may well have experienced similar circumstances. What I really wanted to share with everyone was a few testimonies of how God has reassured me that he’s got this. Some testimonies came after years and years of prayer, some I didn’t even pray for but God showed up. Some of you may well have heard these testimonies before. I hope they will be an encouragement that whatever you are walking through and whatever you are facing, right now in this moment, God is walking it with you. He cares so deeply for you. His arms are stretched out wide waiting for you to run to him so he can welcome you. He desires to pour out his blessings upon you. I pray blessings upon each one of you reading this and that in the coming week God will show up for you in a way that just touches your heart and reassures you of his constant presence in your life.

Six weeks after our son was born he was diagnosed with congenital idiopathic nystagmus. This is a fancy way of saying it isn’t hereditary and we don’t know what caused it. His birth was a particularly difficult one. I had been left pushing for over 3 hours because theatre was occupied with an emergency caesarean. I was given a spinal block so couldn’t feel a thing. My son had shoulder dystocia and after a failed ventouse was born using forceps. He was a healthy 10lb 4oz. I lost a lot of blood and had to have a transfusion. I also ended up with split tummy muscles 4 finger widths apart. I believe to this day God protected us both through that delivery. It could have gone so much worse. Fast forward a good few years and we were told that if we registered our son as partially sighted he may never be able to obtain a drivers license. We had a decision to make. We decided not to register him and pray that he would one day be able to learn how to drive. He would’ve maybe been around 7 or 8 years old at the time. In England you learn to drive once you turn 17. This meant we had 10 years of waiting. 10 years of standing on the same prayer to see whether our son would be able to learn how to drive. In those 10 years we continued to speak in faith. We are now 10 year later and our son has been able to obtain a driving licence. Praise Jesus!

Sometimes there is a waiting period that you must go through. In our case we had to wait those 10 years until our son reaching the legal age to learn to drive before finding out if it would be possible. Just because it is taking time does not mean the answer won’t be yes.

Five years after our son was born we had a miscarriage. There are a few testimonies surrounding that whole period but the one I would like to share comes after I was diagnosed with secondary infertility. We had been trying for a sibling for our son for a good few years and nothing was happening. We went for tests and they determined I was not ovulating and diagnosed secondary infertility (secondary because we already had a son). They prescribed Clomid which would stimulate ovulation and therefore help me become pregnant. However, I read the instruction leaflet and spent some time in thought and prayer before I decided I couldn’t take the medication. I am not promoting going against what the doctors have told you, or recommending any one way of tackling this situation. I am saying this is what was best for me and our circumstance.

I prayed and basically said to God that if this was the plan, that we were to have another child then it would have to be 100% completely from him because I was not willing to risk the side effects of medication on myself or any child I may have. This was not an easy decision for me. I had already gone through years of trying for a baby, heartache, and at one point even suggesting we turn to adoption. In my heart I knew I would not be able to take the medication and so if it was to be it would have to be from God. Around 12 months after that decision I became pregnant naturally with my now 7 year old daughter. I know this was God. I know I needed a daughter but didn’t dare ask God specifically. I am breaking generational trauma off my bloodline through my daughter. I get to change future generations because I choose to heal from my past rather than project it onto the future. I catch myself crying sometimes. When my daughter does something and I get to be the person I needed growing up for her. I might never have had it, but I get to give it. If that makes any sense at all. God knew what I needed and he answered our prayers, going above and beyond whatever I could dream or imagine possible.

It will be 20 years ago this year since my Father In Law passed away. I was not married to my husband at the time. We found him in his flat with a blow to his head and an excess of alcohol in his system. The full story gets a little complicated. We know that God didn’t not take my husbands father, but we were blessed by the good he caused to come out of it. We found a will we did not know he had, along with insurance policies we did not know he had. As it turns out if my husbands Dad would’ve died just 2 weeks before he did then my husband would not have been the one to receive all the insurance money. This money meant that we could put in the much needed damp course to his Mum’s house. This was a time when something good came out of an awful situation and whilst the insurance money was not ever something we had prayed for, we were blessed with something that would help us to create a better living environment for my Mother In Law. This is how God takes care of us, how his favour rests upon his children.

I will leave you with one last testimony (we have a lot more, but no-one has that much time).

Around 11 years ago we went through bankruptcy. We had a lot of debt, a lot of which had acrrued through a job my husband had taken on that didn’t actually pay the expenses they said they would and there was a lot of travel involved. Without going into too much detail, bankruptcy was left as our only real option. We had a wonderful lady from CAP (Christians Against Poverty) who mentored us through the whole process. Now it seemed crazy to me at the time but in order to declare bankruptcy you have to pay over £1000 per person to apply. We were already struggling. We applied for a grant which basically paid for most of the charges. Then when we had to go to court we prayed that it would be smooth and we wouldn’t have to see the judge, he would just sign off on the bankruptcy. The day came and we didn’t have to see the judge. The debt was cleared and we got to start fresh. This was 11 years ago and to this day we have remained debt free.

I hope these stories of God’s goodness have encouraged you in whatever you are walking through. We currently are walking through things but when we look back and remember all that God has done for us before, and all that he has brought us through, it gives us confidence that we are going to come out the other side of all of this with a testimony to share. We can rest without getting stressed knowing that God is orchestrating everything for our good. I saw a very small clip of a Priscilla Shirer preach that said there are over 8,000 promises in the Word of God for each of us. Everyone who can call themselves a Child of God – before we do anything. Just because we believe in Jesus and what he did and have been received into the family of God. 8,000. Mind blown.